How to transition from best friends to dating
Loving someone as a best friend and loving them romantically can be quite different. The problem is at first, this love sometimes feels the same. Take time to actually understand your feelings towards one another and openly communicate your thoughts and intentions. Moving from best friends to more-than-friends can be a big step, make sure you treat it as such. A consistent worry across the board is ruining the friendship. While this is a valid concern, it is also an excuse.
How to Make the Transition From Just Friends to Dating—an Expert Weighs In
The question of our dating came up like this: Jake and I had gone back to his apartment for a nightcap after having dinner together But he told me he'd been mulling it over for a while, and he was serious about wanting to give things a go. I hesitated. I really loved Jake. I respected him. I had a great time with him--we were always laughing; always talking about interesting things; always comfortable discussing our emotions, fears and insecurities.
Or, at least, MY insecurities. His writing career was going well, and the work he did interested me. He had an amazingly awesome family. He was generous and kind. We liked the same kind of music and movies. Plus, he's very tall and quite handsome--an indubitably attractive guy whom the ladies generally love. In other words, it was hard to imagine a more ideal boyfriend. What's more, I was terrified we might ruin the friendship. And not having Jake in my life seemed unimaginably painful.
At the same time, after considering it for a minute or two, I realized that if I didn't give it a try, my reluctance could create a weird dynamic which could very well do serious damage to the friendship--maybe as much as a failed romance would. I also wondered if my hesitation had to do with a lingering? And so I decided that the very best thing I could do was to give it a shot and see what happened--in part because I also felt fairly confident, upon reflection, that my friendship with Jake was strong enough to survive just about anything.
So we tried. We dated. And it wasn't terrible We still laughed a lot, but less. We seemed to have less to talk about, too. And I really do think, after all, that the main problem was our lack of chemistry. Maybe incompatible phermones are to blame--who knows? Yet, the lack of sexual heat was an indisputable fact. Trust me on that: About six months after we broke up, Jake said, "The sex really wasn't very good, was it?
Still, the break-up--understandable and inevitable though it was--hurt. And it had me convinced I would never find love. After all, if I couldn't make it work with this person I cared so deeply about, and got along so well with, how in the hell was I ever going to make any thing work? It took a few months before Jake and I began to hang out again. But then one afternoon, after we'd both independently moved out of D. We had always been in tentative e-mail, even after the split.
I texted Jake, told him I was nearby, that I'd get out of the salon around and did he want to grab a drink at that point? He did And thank Buddha for that, because, have I mentioned I adore this person? Dear me, I'm even tearing up a little as I write this. Anyway, the experience has me convinced that BOTH friends need to feel pretty strong chemistry before they move from being platonic pals to romantic partners. Otherwise, I think the chance of it working out are slim. By that, I mean: Think twice before getting involved with your best friend if either of you are motivated by feelings other than love, longing and desire.
If, instead, the catalyst seems to be a tragedy like a death in the family or even a great personal victory like a big promotion or selling your first movie script , you might want to hold off a month or two, and re-assess then. Sometimes major life events can cloud our judgement, and make us so depressed--or euphoric--that we make bad decisions. Similarly, don't start dating your best friend if you've just been brutally dumped by someone and you're feeling bad about yourself--or if your friend has just had a similar experience.
If he's just broken up with someone after realizing how much he cares about you, that's a different story! If you suspect your friend might have a drinking problem, or you think you are struggling with an anxiety problem or other psychological disorder, I'd hold off temporarily on changing the boundaries of your relationship. Make sure whomever needs the help gets some treatment, and then let the dust settle for a month or two.
If, after that, your feelings are as strong as ever, take the risk. What do you think, guys? Does all this sound on target to you? Did you ever start dating your best friend as you were helping him through the worst--or most exciting--transition in his life? And did it lead to love or loss? I love your story! How awesome for you. I'm glad it worked out--good for you, for being bold enough to lay it on the line!
Faith, I'm sorry things didn't work out with your friend, but it sounds like you have a great outlook on it. And I think failed relationships really can teach us many valuable lessons that make it easier to make subsequent ones work. Hang in there! Also, don't forget that even Harry and Sally broke up once before they finally got back together forever!
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But I had a question on how to go about dating your best friend. Here is the basic scenario: What if you have been long-time friends with a girl for three years and. Navigating this transition, however, is far from "We're great friends, but I have feelings for you beyond friendship. I would love the chance to.
But on the other, some of the best relationships come out of two people who were friends first. Take it slow. Going from friends to boyfriend and girlfriend is a big transition. Instead of jumping into a serious relationship right away, take a few weeks to slowly start hanging out more and get more intimate.
When your feelings are more passionate and stronger than what you'd expect from a normal friendship, it might be time to take things to the next level. Navigating this transition, however, is far from obvious.
Transitioning from being just friends to being lovers can be exciting, awkward, and confusing all at the same time. There are so many questions to answer and so many situations that just become weird for the both of you.
Going from Friend to Boyfriend/Girlfriend
The first kiss my boyfriend and I shared as friends-who-now-know-they-like-each-other was nothing short of terrifying. I pulled him into what I thought would be a sweeping, spark-filled smooch and he just stood there, hardly moving. The rest of the date was even more catastrophic. We nervously drank too much and watched Sweet Home Alabama on his bed without looking at each other. I was convinced we had no chemistry and that I ruined a perfectly-great friendship.
How To Go From Friends To Dating With These 10 Flirting Tips
When you discover that you have feelings for a buddy of yours, the idea of becoming more is daunting, but there are ways to transition from being friends to dating. You need to handle the situation delicately if you want things to go well. Here are some ways to transition from being friends to dating:. Before any kissing occurs, make sure that you both feel the same. If one of you wants a committed relationship, but the other wants a fling, you should just stay friends. One of the best ways to transition from being friends to dating is to discuss before you date. Since you already know everything about one another, you may move faster than you would with a stranger. However, if you want to move slowly, do so.
But I had a question on how to go about dating your best friend. Here is the basic scenario:
Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Cornina asked: The answer is yes, friends can and often do become lovers, although as your question implies, the transition can be somewhat awkward.
7 Ways to Transition from Being Friends to Dating ...
Some of the best, most long-lasting relationships start with good friendship as a base. You can freely laugh, cry, joke around with each other and share secrets that you wouldn't tell anyone else. It's only natural for this level of closeness that you share to transition into something more if you're mutually attracted to one another. But how do you initiate this transition without mega awkwardness? It is possible if you're willing to slowly introduce the idea and put forth the effort required to build another part of your relationship. It's also imperative that you're ready to risk the relationship as a whole, since once you take a leap into romantic territory, the friendship you have might never be the same again if things don't work out. Was this helpful? If you don't have enough courage to come out and tell your friend exactly how you feel without some idea of how they feel back, try hinting. Ask for relationship advice, and let the other person know you want someone with their qualities. You can also try subtle physical cues like grabbing their hand while watching a scary movie or putting your arm around them while walking together, then gauge their reaction and proceed with caution. If he or she seems receptive to these things, then it's probably about time to air your true feelings.
BFF To BF: Steps For Transitioning From Friends To Lovers
In fact, some might argue that it's the simplest part of a relationship. The commitment , compatibility, and trust are what tend to be more difficult to manage, especially if the one you've fallen for happens to already be a close friend. The happily ever after party? That happens mostly in rom-coms," Darcy Sterling, Tinder's dating and relationship trends expert says, point blank. It's not impossible to transition from just friends to dating, however, Sterling recommends you do your due diligence before professing any feelings and risking the special friendship you already have. If you've already done some serious soul searching and decide that it's worth it to pursue a romantic relationship with a friend , Darcy points out that communication will be the key to the potentially awkward transitional period. Curious to learn exactly how Darcy would approach getting out of the friend zone?
Should You Really “Stay Friends” After The Relationship is Over?
A few years ago, I attended the wedding of two dear friends of mine. Their wedding was nothing short of a joyful and magical affair, as weddings typically are, but something remarkable stood out at this wedding. Among the hundreds of family and friends present were some former boyfriends and girlfriends of the bride and groom. There is a myth—an urban legend really—among many dating individuals today that goes like this: Dating could ruin our friendship.
How can we transition from being friends to dating?
Jan 12, Dating 2 comments. Transitioning from lover to friend can be very tricky especially if the break up was more one sided. I count most of these men as very good friends to this day. Transitioning from lover to friend can take some time…be patient and allow the process to unfold! A mature honest transition from lovers to friends is wonderful. It displays acceptance, acknowledgement of lessons learned while romantic, builds trust, etc.
7 Things No One Tells You About Dating A Friend
Dating a friend is widely recognized to be a pursuit fraught with potential complications. I learned this lesson the hard way when I started dating a friend in high school. Not only were we good friends, but our families were also extremely close and had been for years. When we broke up nine months later, all the usual post-breakup awkwardness and bitterness were multiplied tenfold by the fact that we were forced to hang out whenever our families got together, which was often. On the flip side, when we rekindled the flame after college, our friendship and the friendship between our families became one of the best parts about our more-than-friendship.
7 signs you're going to end up in a relationship with your friend
It may not have been obvious from the start, but your best friend could just be the man or woman of your dreams. Once you get past the initial awkwardness of transitioning from friends to more than friends, everything should be smooth sailing, right? Not really. If you have decided that romance might just be on the cards for you and your best friend, it is important to proceed with care. There is a lot to consider. If you play your cards right, you might have yourself a future life partner.How Do You Turn A Friendship into a Relationship