Dating the complete opposite
I thought I was marrying someone a lot like me. My husband was the person who introduced me to Nutella on our second date, so my judgment may have been clouded by chocolate hazelnut goodness. We are the textbook example of opposites attract. He likes spending his birthdays with the kids, and I like to spend mine locked in my own room in bed watching Netflix — alone. His ideas of fun include mountain biking, hiking, snow-shoeing, skiing, or anything that will keep him physically active, and my idea of fun involves frozen yogurt with a friend and my bra off by 8:
7 Ways to “Make it Work” When You and Your S.O. are Total Opposites
My ideal dinner consists of sashimi and his, porterhouse. I spend my free time wandering and exploring and he has a special relationship with our couch. He loves comedies, and the majority of my shows contain suspense and plenty of drama. He has a love affair with the movie theater, and I live for my frequent flier mileage program.
This is my life, but it works for me. Think about your best friends for a moment and all the common interests you share with them. I didn't marry my best friend, nor do I wish I had. Don't get me wrong, I love my best friend, but there is something entirely separate about a friendship and romantic relationship and the affect of being opposites and carbon copies of one another.
I believe there is a common misconception that partners must share a majority of similarities in order to be successful. If anyone knows this isn't true, it's me. I could make you a Christmas length list of all the things I don't share in common with my husband; and that list continues to grow. And you know what, we're happier because of it. As much as I love myself, I couldn't date someone just like me. Dating or being married to your polar opposite is no easy feat, but I must say having my polar opposite turn from boyfriend and eventually into husband has taught me plenty of life lessons cough, cough — lots of compromise!
We are completely unalike and entirely in love. Here are six reasons having an opposite partner rocks. When my husband and I only had one TV in our apartment, we were forced to watch the same thing, and most of the time it was subtitled Kung Fu films or WWII documentaries, while all I wanted to do was watch Girls. I am not going to lie, he knows some really kickass Netflix, HBO, and Showtime series and is Dark Zone level 50 if you don't know what that is, bless your heart , but we don't share any of those interests together as a couple.
Not to say we haven't tried, but it just doesn't work, but that does not mean our love does not work for us. When it comes time to order Seamless, my cursor hovers over the Japanese restaurant and his over the last burrito he ordered. As frustrating and annoying as it is, we have cultivated such curiosity and respect for one another over time due to our differences.
To this point, we have inadvertently introduced each other to new bands, podcasts, restaurants, thought processes, experiences, and Netflix series whether we like it or not! Let's be honest, enjoying sushi together while watching Silicon Valley can only last so long. Like a battery, not the blood types. If you put the two plus sides together, the battery does not function, similar to a relationship.
Me, I am classic Type A; I constantly stress over everything, no detail is too small. My husband is routine driven, likes to know what to expect at all times, and nothing ever bothers him. I constantly think 15 moves into the future and am always bugging him about plans in our calendar two months out or our long-term goals.
Meanwhile, he hasn't even figured out what he is having for dinner. But if we both didn't know what was for dinner or what we we're going to be doing down the road, we would be the definition of hot messes. The best part of it all? We motivate each other without even knowing it. He doesn't even have to try to calm me down, he is naturally calm and therefore by osmosis, I begin to be too.
I swear he was born a lawyer, constantly arguing his point, his side, and his opinion. Naturally, partners are bound to disagree and stomp away furiously thinking, "If this person were more similar to me, they would just see my side and we wouldn't even be having this fight"? But through the argument, it will cause you to think about points you have never even thought of before or better yet, reconfirm and strengthen your own views. My husband and I don't see eye to eye on politics, composting, recycling, supernatural forces, you name it, we don't agree.
But we have our reasons, so allow yourself to be swayed or stick by your long-standing thoughts. What about if you are a start-up queen and your partner is a corporate powerhouse? You may not live and breathe the day-to-day actions as your partner, but you will gain an understanding of a life completely separate of your own and possibly freshen and challenge your own ways of thinking, personally and professionally.
In the end, you may end up agreeing to disagree but at least it becomes yet another chance to learn about your partner. You already know how you intend to solve a problem; you have been doing it for something years on your own, why stop now? But it's always nice to have another point of view, that person to offer a different version that you have never thought of.
Sometimes we are so stuck inside our own heads that our partners are the best soundboard for those situations in which you can't see outside of your general mind frame. No one stays the same over time; we will always continue to grow, in our relationships and beyond. When your partner is opposite you, it's highly likely they possess traits and qualities that you admire in which you end up adapting into your own life.
Personally I live with the YOLO travel mentality and my husband never understood why I had such a strong drive to want to see every inch of the world. After six years of my constant rationalization of our world travels, I think he finally understands it and has adapted my philosophy to his personal life. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, even better when it's your partner!
Nobody wants to be bored and let's be honest, relationships can get stale quick. Not saying you will like everything your partner picks, but you won't be bored on the ride! If date night were up to me, we would be having cocktails on the roof of a hot spot and not eating at a hole in the wall German restaurant where there are games like shuffleboard and buck hunter, which is his haven.
If I weren't married to him, I would likely never know about certain places or experience certain moments because of my own lifestyle choices. Embracing spontaneity and getting out of your comfort zone makes for great relationships! So if you are dating your opposite, embrace all the wonderful things you are inadvertently learning rather than focusing on the arguments and frustrations.
I may not know exactly why opposites attract initially, but there is no doubt that married or dating opposites have incredibly fulfilling relationships. Image Source: Relationships Marriage Personal Essay Advice. Around The Web. You May Also Like. Khloe Kardashian. Now You Know. Latest Love. Customize Select the topics that interest you: Pop Culture.
Well, that and the fact that every single person I have ever dated has been my total opposite, including the person I eventually married. This Is How You Know If Dating Your Opposite Is Really Going To Work right on the money with his famous, dreamy “you complete me” line.
They say opposites attract, but there's way more to a relationship than just attraction. Whether you think things work best when you're two peas in a pod or if you have totally different interests and personalities, one thing's for sure: Here, nine women open up about what did or didn't work about dating someone very different from them. In one of my longest relationships, my partner was a few years older and more of the homebody type, which meant that going out for drinks was something I could do with my friends.
You'll date a lot of people throughout your life. And who knows?
Dating my complete opposite was one of the best things to ever happen to me. In the back of my mind I knew that the relationship wouldn't work. My personality was entirely too strong.
5 Reasons to Date Someone Who Is Your Opposite
Your ex broke up with you and left you heartbroken. And while you are still trying to understand what happened and pick up the shattered pieces of your life, your ex has started another relationship. However, you are still not convinced. Your ex seems happy and their new relationship seems to be going perfectly. And the thought of it just being a rebound relationship is very comforting. The first sign is quite obvious.
Is Your Ex In a Rebound Relationship? Find Out With These Telltale Signs
What is it about our polar opposites that can be so irresistibly attractive? Why does it seem so often the laid-back, mellow guy goes for the loud, extroverted social butterfly? Right or wrong, some of us cannot seem to help ourselves! Have you always lacked that risk-taking, adventurous gene? The one that would propel you to go sky diving or explore the Alaskan wilderness? And he might be the one to appreciate your steady, dependable side. Entertainment news sites are also obsessed with seemingly mis-matched couples like Australian country singer Keith Urban and unflappable, mysterious Nicole Kidman. Kidman and Urban have been married since practically a lifetime in Hollywood circles. What about us regular joes? In non-Hollywood life, there are plenty more examples of opposites attracting.
Before I met and started dating my boyfriend Buddy, I had a picture in my head of what my perfect guy would be.
Opposites attract, but do they last? Some might tell you that you have to share numerous interests to have a happy relationship.
I’m So Glad I Married My Complete Opposite
The rule of attraction has always been that opposites attract. But how much of this is true and how much of the law of attraction remains with the application of science? Most agree we usually prefer to spend our time surrounded by people who have similarities with us. We all like the same foods, same music, and even the same hobbies. It keeps you motivated and supported. This is the age-old question plaguing people in relationships—or trying to be in relationships—for as long as time. A number of different things to consider when choosing a life partner. In order to uncover if a relationship really works with your polar opposite, we have to decipher if these 15 truths prove that they can. Having a great relationship with your total opposite ]. Most of us stay stuck in this little cocoon of comfort allowing us to live our everyday lives as we wish. Polar opposites view life differently.
This Is How You Know If Dating Your Opposite Is Really Going To Work
Much like peanut butter and jelly opposites can make a great pair! An easy place to start! There may be a lot of things about you and your partner that are different, but finding some common ground can help build a steady foundation on which you can grow together. Just kidding. That means you might avoid trying a new dish even when your S. Sounds familiar?
What Falling In Love With Your Opposite Teaches You About Love
Young and old people, happy and distressed couples, single folks and married partners - all apparently buy the classic adage about love. Relationship experts have written books based on this assumption. It's even been internalized by people who are on the hunt for a partner, with 86 percent of those looking for love saying they're seeking someone with opposite traits. The problem is that what's true of magnets is not at all true of romance. Dating, Sex, and Marriage ," people tend to be attracted to those who are similar - not opposite - to themselves. Whether people really find opposites more attractive has been the subject of many scientific studies. Researchers have investigated what combination makes for better romantic partners - those who are similar, different, or opposite?
While having a few common interests and basic outlook on life is important, dating someone too similar to yourself could lead to stagnancy, boredom, and dissatisfaction down the road. Well, think about dating a clone of yourself. Having the same likes and dislikes, the same quirks, same hobbies, exact same personality, taste in food…you would eventually feel trapped and complacent, and would likely seek someone who complemented you rather than mirrored you. Biologically speaking, we are hardwired to be attracted to people that are different than us. Take the famous experiment , for example: This is cited as one of the most important modern scientific studies, because it lends truth to the saying that opposites do, indeed, attract. In the end, our bodies just want to prevent inbreeding, so we look for a mate with diverse genes in comparison to ours. So, besides the chance at having offspring much better equipped for living a healthy life, why else should you date your opposite?
Opposites attract, and countless individuals have fallen in love with someone who is different from who they are in some way. People who are in relationships with their total opposites are constantly learning something new. With each conversation, they gather a different perspective, and they discover a number of ways to do and think about things outside of their comfort zone. Life is all about learning and growing, right? So by dating someone who sees things differently from you, it will help you expand your mind, and maybe even change some of your habits for the better. Having balance in any relationship is vital to its survival. Dating someone who is not the same as you can create a sense of stability and oneness between two wildly different personalities.
By Katharine Luckinbill. I am a yoga teacher, vegetarian and never go near the gay bar scene. He is a smoker, carnivore and not only likes the bars, but happily works in one. But rather, can two people who share very little in common other than love for each other have long-term success? Long Answer:Should You Date Your Opposite?